False Rage
I thought about being mad. I considered myself as stable enough to let anger slip into my mind. Betrayed my first believe of being separated with you, that it was all about us reworking ourselves.
I thought about confrontation. Proving my ability to connecting the dots. Forced you to meet on Tuesday though you beg me not to. In the end, you did your best to break all my accusation. Though you are not a saint, I know you are trying. Just like you.
I thought about love. What is love with no romance? The losing spark. I always feel the spark even I know you don't. The feeling that I deny and fight for. But it takes to tango. I can't dance alone in this sonata.
I thought about things I want to pursue. I could freely flap my wings because I knew I always have a nest called 'you'. Home is not always nice, sometimes it feels bad and weird even there were days I can't imagine it better. But the familiar feeling of stayed together calms me. Now I feel like in an autopilot mode. Don't worry, I'll figure it out.
I thought that I restarted the broken feeling. Broke it to smaller pieces to rearrange. It really hurts to remember us under the umbrella below the dark wet sky.
At the end, the surreal feeling of us feels absolute. Thought I literally burn the bridge by forcing you. The most hated thing of you but the least I can do to just reach you. Just like when we used to be.
P.S. I continue to watch Netflix. I found an on going series that match. Maybe until we finish the last episode?
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar