I once read a blog. The writer said that loneliness is the fuel to create art. At least that is what Da Vinci did, he said. Da Vinci kept himself in loneliness. Nurturing the lonely feeling and decided to marry to no one.
I wonder if what he posted down on the blog was the fragments of his thoughts. Is he enjoying loneliness? Does loneliness speak loudly to him? And the biggest question since he was referring to Da Vinci, does he take loneliness as a fuel to his creations?
— because it’s funny. I am a total opposite.
Remember the time when I visited Leopold Museum in Vienna. The exhibition was about Vienna Secession and the pioneers who were mostly artists-painter. I read all the descriptions and the stories of their life carefully. Their soap opera-like slice of life. It was very interesting to know. At least, four of them were having an affair with married women. Or if it wasn’t intriguing enough, the woman they were having affair with was the wife of their patron. Moreover, they didn’t do it quietly nor sneakily. They expressed their forbidden (I mean, if monogamy is still in the room back then) love by publicly made their lover as their muse for their paintings. Those paintings with different kinds of strokes. A desired brush strokes.
A desire. Lust that moved them. A combination of adrenaline and libido that rushing to turn into something beautiful. A feeling that you can’t hold but to express it. I almost made a new theory that to be a renowned artist, one should be scandalous enough to let the creative juices streams to your hands and made art. But no, thank you. Modern life is tricky enough for me already to add a scandalous story.
Well, something interesting I found is, instead of lust, I am moved by love. The feeling you feel when you are falling in love. The energy that comes when you’re attracted to someone until you make them as an object. An object you adore which grows your curiosity to digging deeper. It brings you an imagination (though i have to be careful enough until it turns to delusion) that unlock your potential. Sometimes it even uncovers the other side of you. A new brush strokes that you don’t even know that you have. It leads to an urge to channel your energy into something you can show to the world.
“Here, ladies and gentlemen, I am falling in love and the world needs to know.”
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I wonder if what moved us was a contradiction. A dichotomy of one and two. To be fair, I enjoy being alone (although I broke this statement right after I got fever, alone in my room last week). I cherish every moment I explore things on my own company. Even this writing came up out of loneliness. Because I’m no longer sure if I’m still falling in love with someone. But all I know, I fall in love with myself. With the solitude that makes my brain works harder and with all the serendipity that coming along the way. So, are we somewhat have the similar force?
