Life is so funny that I finally stepped again to the curiosity of exploring love, relationship, and the feelings of it.
The last time I fall deep, the one that blurred the current and the past. Felt nice since it was too far away to reach so I keep it dearly in my imagination. To recap, it left blissful feeling and set the bar quite high. My favorite season of me being a lover that turned me into 2010s Vina who writes, taking photos, and enjoying niches. Well, It's all in my head until I don't know when I let life unfold.
Then I started to challenge myself, jumping to a dating pool where humans seem like a catalog. Screaming loud to be picked. Surface level chats to present likings and what's not. I talked honestly, sometimes polished it a bit to lit a new convo. It was all fun until the exhaustion became solid. The last convo there impressed me. A young man with a cute smile and dimples. The talk was so easy that I finally can dive deeper--breaking what exhaust me. From chat to recorded voices to call, but never met. He was just so sweet that tickled me and left an awkward feeling because everything felt so fast. To be honest, I love feeling wanted. He did. Until I felt pushed hard to enjoy it when we were still in introduction pages. You don't even know me. I don't know if I was just so stiff or just unused to it after long time of being ignored. "We even have never met," I said. Then things just slide like that, no more 'good morning'. Lol.
At the end, I'm just holding at this belief, love will find the way.
If it existed for me. (anjay)
See ya!
